Eau de Mike

Times are Tough (really tough)

You know times are tough and people are doing whatever they can to earn a buck when an international pop icon known for being a playah with the ladies dons leotards and heels to make a popular video. (and yes, I'm saying this in jest)   I just thought this was hilarious. Click here to see the whole thing.

Thanks, Justin (that's him on the left) for being such a great sport, and for being smart enough to know that it makes you all the more popular when you're willing to do stuff like this.

Yes, We Did!

These pictures say it all. Click here to see incredible backstage shots of the Obama family on Election Night. And click here to see shots on The Huffington Post of people around the world reacting to the news that Obama won the election.

In the Thick of It

Well I finally got off my butt and got back to writing. I submitted an essay to Sparks, a column sponsored by the San Francisco Gay Men's Community Initiative and published in the SF Bay Times newspaper. It was accepted for publication and was published in today's issue. You can read it online here.

It's called "In the Thick of It" and is about how I feel as a resident of Castro Street. It's minutes of reading fun! I highly recommend it.

You betcha!

Palin said. "I truly believe that the wisdom of the people will be revealed on Election Day."

It sure will, you idiot.

Suck it, John & Sarah

“Don’t underestimate the capacity of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.”

--Barack Obama, October 17, 2008

States John McCain will be visiting between now and Election Day: 11

States Barack Obama will be visiting between now and Election Day: 19

--New York Times,October 26, 2008

"You kinda get the feeling that the Obama campaign thinks this whole election process is just a formality. They've overlooked, though, the minor detail of...winning your vote. And judging from the media coverage, it does seem the coronation is already set."

--Sarah Palin, October 26, 2008, Tampa, Florida

"He's measuring the drapes. I prefer to let voters have their say. What America needs now is someone who will finish the race before starting the victory lap."

--John McCain, October 26, 2008, Cedar Falls, Iowa

Guess the a**hole and the hockey mom don't know how to open their ears before they open their mouths.  Oh, and then there's this:

Our sober view is that Sen. John McCain is the wrong choice for president at this critical time for our nation. Sen. Barack Obama brings far more promise to the office. In a time of grave economic crisis, he displays thoughtful analysis, enlists wise counsel and operates with a cool, steady hand. The same cannot be said of Sen. McCain.

-- The Anchorage (Alaska) Daily News, Oct. 25, 2008

And finally:

John McCain on Sunday morning on Meet the Press said that he and Bush share a "common philosophy" of the Republican Party.

John McCain later the same day: "I will take America in a new direction from my first day in office."

Um, so which is it, you old coot? And by the way, stop calling me your friend. You aren't.

Design by Engineers

Here's a picture of the latest rover thingy to land on Mars. [Seems like one is landing or almost landing every couple of months.] The pictures are cool; very awe-inspiring. According to the caption, the DVD stuck to the rover thingy has literature, art and other earthly cultural wonders. Great idea.

But what I noticed is the crappy design on the cover. There are two huge logos, one on either side, a big block of copy on the top, and some straggler lines of copy at the bottom. It also seems that all of these elements are multi-colored. Red and blue on white. How American.

It's sad that NASA can drop tens of billions of dollars to send this thing all the way to Mars, but can't see its way clear to invest 200 bucks for a designer to make it look decent. We've barely touched the Red Planet, and already we're trashing it up with crap. Lord help us.

Can't We Do Better?

sigh...

Once again, an ad "specially targeted to the gay community" hits the gay rags. And once again, my eyes roll up in my sockets and I shake my head at the pathetic nature of it all. Look at this ad.

What's it saying, exactly? That if I buy a condo it comes with a shirtless stud? That all my neighbors will look like this? That I will look like this, simply by living here? That this guy's...ahem... "unit" is for sale? I especially like the line about how the price can't be "beat." Yes, the cleverness just goes on and on.

I guess a scantily clad gym bunny is supposed to motivate me to drop $130K on a dwelling. Thanks, Poinsettia Landings, for talking to me like I'm some sex-crazed idiot who uses my libido to make life decisions and investment choices.

Yes indeed, it really makes me want to live there, knowing how you hold me in such high regard. And imagine the high caliber of other residents that will be there, too! I'm dialing Mayflower Movers as we speak.

God.

Dumbest. Tagline. Ever.

Courtesy of Subaru. Are you ready? Here it is:

"Love. It's what makes a Subaru a Subaru."

Almost as bad as "If it doesn't say Jiffy Lube, it just isn't Jiffy Lube."

Oh, please

Here are two headlines from the Yahoo! home page this evening:

Linens 'n Things files for bankruptcy, will close 120 stores

Bush predicts the economy is going to "come on"

Is there anyone left in the world who still actually believes a word that comes out of that pathetic guy's lying, sniveling little mouth?

Afternoon at the Bank

Starring "Ayuda" as the teller
[Note: Ayuda means "help" in Spanish and no, I'm not making this up.]

Also starring Mike as the Incredulous Customer.

The scene: Interior of Bank of America lobby, San Rafael branch.
Incredulous Customer is there to get a money order to pay a friend for professional music services rendered on behalf of his employer, Groove 11. His friend does not have a bank account, as he lives "off the financial grid."

Teller: Hi, can I help you?

Incredulous Customer: I'd like to get a money order in this amount. [slides an $850 expense check across the counter, issued by his employer to cover his friend's services]

Teller [whispering so as not to actually be heard amongst the blaring Muzak, laughing co-workers, and echoing footsteps in what has to be the loudest bank on the planet]: I'm sorry, we don't issue money orders.

IC: What?

Teller: We don't issue money orders.

IC: Why not?

Teller [still whispering]: We only issue cashier's checks.

IC: What? [leans forward]

Teller: We only issue cashier's checks.

IC: Well, what's the difference?

Teller [still whispering]: A money order is less than a dollar. A cashier's check costs six dollars.

IC [laughing]: Well then I guess I'll have to take a cashier's check.

Narrator: And here, ladies and gentlemen, is a case of the bank laughing all the way to the bank.

THE END