FAQs

Wow. You were on a submarine?!
Yes.

Really?!
Yes.

Didn’t you get claustrophic?
No.

What’s the longest you stayed underwater?
That’s classified. But I can say that the only thing that really limits the length of time you can stay submerged is how much food you can cram on board.

Speaking of food, I heard the food on submarines is really good.
You heard wrong.

How many people were on board?
Where did you go?
Did you get much radiation?
I could say more about the reactor, the number of people on board, our tours, etc. but I could get in trouble. I’d have to hide from the government and I’ve bought way too many books online to do that.

What was your job on the submarine?
I was a Machinist’s Mate. I worked in the engineroom with the propulsion turbines, turbine generators, pumps, condensers, valves, three-story air conditioners and giant boilers that made fresh water from seawater.

How butch!
I know.

Are you still really butch?
Let’s just say I buy my fresh water at Safeway these days.

How did you go from the nuclear navy to advertising?!
I was sick of studying heat transfer, fluid flow, friction coefficients, fission, and corrosion. So I decided to marry my love of writing with my love of all media. Advertising was a perfect fit!